701: Night of the Blood Beast (w/ Once Upon A Honeymoon) Short: Heaven sends a bumbling angel named Wilbur down to Earth to help a couple do something. The wife starts dancing around and the chain-smoking husband begins writing a play for Broadway. Movie: A Roger Corman production that starts with the common rocket crash. Strangely the pilot is dead, yet still intact. However, later it turns out thatr he isn' really dead and turns into a monster and gets pregnant to boot. Then some people burn him to death. Opening: Fearful for their personal safety, Crow and Servo carry taser guns and peppercorn mace. When Mike makes the subtlest of moves toward Crow, he spears him with the taser. Servo, confused, fires on Mike as well. Then, per Crow's instructions, Servo blasts Mike with nearly a liter of mace (which looks a lot like Silly String). Host Segment 1: Pearl, Dr. Forrester's mother, is staying with him. Wearing an ill-fitting suit, his hair slicked horribly to one side, he announces that she is forcing him to play a recital on his trombone. He tries to object but she correctly observes, "Nobody wants to hear you talk, Clayton." He makes a hideous sound with the trombone and his rhythm is terrible, prompting Mother Forrester to hit the bell of his trombone repeatedly with a ruler. On the SOL, Crow demonstrates his own technique by playing a lovely, melodic version of "Getting Sentimental Over You" (which sounds suspiciously like it was being played on a Roland effects box). In Deep 13, Forrester blows out more than a gallon of spit from his spit valve while Mrs. Forrester ponders the failure that is her son. She admonishes him, calling him by his full name, Clayton Deborah Susan Forrester and wonders why she didn't have the girl she prayed for. Back of the SOL, Crow effortlessly plays a spunky version of "Hold that Tiger," and they head into the theater. Host Segment 2: Gypsy does her best "Mary" from the short, singing about things that she wishes she could have. The robots, dressed as angels, deliver the goods, even as they get more difficult. Includes a very nice "fly-over" from Tom, which, while taking up less than a second on screen, most assuredly took more than four hours to shoot. Host Segment 3: Mrs. Forrester interrupts Mike and Servo while arm wrestling to announce that Clayton has something to confess to them. He doesn't have the foggiest idea, but makes a few guesses at it before asking, reasonably, "Is it poop related?" The whole thing is embarrassing and leads to a fight wherein Clayton pulls a knife on his beloved mother. She wastes no time, producing a semi-automatic pistol and shooting glasses. She expertly blasts the knife from his hand and when he starts running she leads him beautifully and puts a few rounds into him. Where, we never find out. I would guess they are leg shots. Host Segment 4: Crow has determined that pregnant women get all the attention and that life must be a piece of cake for them. He attempts to trick the others into thinking he's pregnant (like Johnny, from the film) by taping some peel and eat shrimp to a phony fluoroscope. They find him out and he delivers a stinging indictment of pregnant women everywhere. In it, he refers to their "ever-widening asses." Wow. End: Crow takes after babies, angry that they too get a free ride. Mike reads an overwhelming amount of letters. Down in Deep 13, Mrs. Forrester cradles Dr. F. like a baby, and in fact, insists that he is one. It is deeply disturbing -- or at least, it should be. Stinger: Special Notes: This was the first show taped after MST3K: The Movie was completed. Go back to 701: Night of the Blood Beast (Turkey Day) |
